What can I say? Steve Harvey does it again!
The comedian known for doing all things BIG from his big mouth, his stylish and sophisticated clothing line, to his #1 nationally syndicated radio/talk show as well as countless other accomplishments, deals with a topic that is as big as they come...RELATIONSHIPS! Thus proving yet again why he is still the Big Daddy on campus.
Steve has written a best-selling advice book for the self-help genre that goes straight for the juggler in tackling issues (from his perspective) that plague the hearts and minds of most women concerning how some men think and conduct themselves.
With a plethora of concerns most people have as it relates to all things in the world of dating, life, love, romance, relationships, intimacy, and commitment; you have to be ever so versatile when giving advice on any of these topics.
Although he speaks from the standpoint of his many years as a father, husband, celebrity, and now talk show host who deals with a very contemporary audience, I personally believe it fell somewhat short of addressing the multiple issues from the viewpoints of both sexes.
But don't just take my word for it. Let's hear what some of the readers had to say:
Mostly, I found his candor helpful.....,
| By | Kare Anderson "Kare Anderson" (Sausalito, CA) - See all my reviews |
Women are "leaving the door open for a guy to get away with something...Here's what's happened over the years," says comic and radio host Steve Harvey. "Women's standards and requirements have lowered over the years. And as men, we know that. We have taken advantage of it. We've created terms that we feed to women that allow us to exist as we do," he told Belinda Luscome when discussing his New York Times best seller, co-authored with Denene Millner, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. For example, Harvey said (and I'm abbreviating) ...
1. We created the term "nagging." There's really no such thing as nagging. As soon as a woman starts registering her complaint, we call it nagging. We let you know it will drive us away.
2. When you first meet a man, so you don't ask a lot of personal questions, and questions about his business, we created the term gold-digger. Now why would a woman not be concerned about her financial future?
3. Three things men want from women: support, loyalty and "the cookie" (sex): "We'll take a lot of things from a woman. But we have to have these three things. You take away any one of them, you lose a man's affection."
4. Three ways men show love to women: profess, provide and protect: "We have to define love in some kind of way. The problem with women is they have this great spectrum of what love is, and they want it reciprocated the same way they give it out. But we men can only nurture to a certain degree. It's not in our DNA ... We want to profess our love. We tell everyone," he told an Atlanta audience.
5. "Men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. ... These three things make up the basic DNA of manhood-the three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he's truly fulfilled his destiny as a man..., and until he's achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you're dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you" Harvey wrote in the book.
"I've had two divorces myself. I understand. What I was never able to convey until I got a little older was why I was missing in action... trying so hard to be somebody ... not as emotionally involved," says Harvey who adds that he "could have written it (his book) in "about 35 pages.... because we're guys. We are that simple," he added in the interview.
Sometimes Harvey he sounds like he's offering 1950s Mad Men-era advice, yet not as much as Whitey Casey in The Man Plan. It gets men nodding and some women giving heated responses to him on call-in talk shows:
* Take your husbands last name. It supports men's desire to protect women.
* Men still expect women to keep a clean home.
* It is ok if women don't know how to cook as long as they "cook" in the bedroom.
Three things to ask a man "to decide if he is worth keeping", suggests Harvey, are (and these are just as valuable in reverse for men to ask women) are his:
1. Short-term goals and whether they match his long-term goals.
2. Views on family and kids.
3. Relationship with his mom
I would add:
4. Relationship to his friends
5. Views on money, especially on spending and saving.
6. Strongest values: what most matters to him in character traits and behavior.
Decent, Common Sense Advice, but let's be logical people.....,
| By | Logical Kay "Let's think things through..." (Anywhere and Everywhere) - See all my reviews |
Most of the advice in Steve's book has been already posted, in fact you can glean the major points just from reading the flap copy, so I won't go into that. And be aware the advice appears to be written geared toward women searching for a long term, serious relationship.
But I wonder why so many people are jumping up and down for joy as if things such as don't sleep with a man immediately, have standards and keep up your appearance are revolutionary ideas. Most of the things in this book, women should be aware of by their late 20s. The advice isn't something you couldn't get from a pastor or a well-meaning male friend, the difference is Steve is a celebrity and a one man promotion machine with his radio show.
It's true that some women never had good male role models, and I didn't have the best parental example, but as I've gotten older, as I think happens with most people, you mature and are able to find what you are looking for in a relationship. As for the sex thing, I don't think having sex early will automatically make a man lose interest in you. The main reason to wait for women, is that women are not guaranteed to get pleasure out of every sexual act, and disease, so it's better to at least have an emotional connection and know who you're sleeping with.
And on to Steve Harvey. Of course, I don't know him personally but he has been married three times, and has reportedly not always been a "gentleman" to the women he's dated. So why doesn't he explain his past behavior in the book? Clearly, the emphasis is on how women should behave because a) women are the majority of his fan base b) they are the majority of book buyers. Plus it seems the majority of these Strawberry Letters read on his show are also written by women who seem to have problems so over the top, that I wonder if they aren't made up by someone on Harvey's staff.
And of course he wrote the book for some profit. There is nothing wrong with that, but let's not act like he's Mother Theresa, and not an entertainer.
I don't post reviews on amazon but I felt compelled to weigh in on this debate for some reason. All in all, this book contains advice most mature individuals should know. But if you enjoy Harvey's comedy and like to debate and overthink relationships, I think it would be a worthwhile read.
